its been sometime

Thankful...

2011-03-19T06:04:00.000-07:00

Complete..a simple word, a simple feeling yet it takes you a hard long journey to achieve it.
Meeting the person who showers you with abundance of completeness is another story all together. I am thankful to be able to feel this much awaited feeling. Thank you God for blessing me. He is god sent after all :-)

Star shines...(18 Feb 2010)

2011-02-07T07:30:00.001-08:00

I look up into the dark sky. Flickers of tiny stars peeping through the far off clouds...The bright round moon beaming amongst those shiny starts.Are you doing the same?
I remember kneeling on the backseat of our car during my childhood..looking out from the windscreen. I remember looking up at the sky during te shily Aussie night..Flooded with tears, I remember looking out through my sister's window..Feeling empty, I look out through my apartment window, blankly up..I wonder if you did the same and shared the same feelings..
Looking into space makes you wonder many things..And you only have a few very special and rare moments in your life to feel this very feelings..What awaits us in the future? How do we feel complete?

A simple note for you (18-Feb-2010)

2011-02-07T07:24:00.000-08:00

On my hourney of findng you, i came across two very interesting people who somehow changed my life. Two people who were not there for long. I guess, gos sent me those two people to me, for me to erase my flaws before he sent you to me.
I am waiting, yet not showing externally of my long wait for you. I will save up and start preparing for 12.12.12. You know why...
I tried not to belieb in soulmated but deep down..i can hear your soul whispering to mine my dreams. I cannot picture your smile or your frown..or your laughter. Yet, i know how i will feel when my eyes reaches yours. Your piercing yet tender eyes welcoming our future together. I really hope you feel the same as i do.
Till then..may you have lots of fun with those chicks out there while i have with mine ;-) Just remember, where ever you go and whatever you do...do not forget your principals and most of all, your faith in meeting this lone soul here...

Love,
Your Soulmate

Reality can never be erased

2011-01-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

At times i feel the urge to pour my hearts content out... to take it all out of me. But something always holds me back. Will i be accepted? Will i be treated the same? This fear which i thought will fade away, never did.
There was a time when i shared my hearts content, and at the end felt a heavier burden after that. So, i choose the next best thing...to erase all the bitter memories and move on. Yet, reality never changes. It hits you hard when u least expect...

appreciated

2010-12-23T09:52:00.000-08:00

Appreciated...a simple word yet it makes your heart exhilirated and overwhelmed..leaving u in a state of euphoria! thank u my love-holic

Free as a bird

2010-09-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

I feel light..happy..free as a bird!!! :-)

thinking of u

2010-07-05T21:25:00.000-07:00

it has been months...i hardly speak 2u, hardly hear your voice, hardly c u..yet, when u cross my mind, my heart feels heavy. heavy coz it never happened the way we thought it was meant to be..is this a test for us, or is this how it should end?i miss u loji :-(

The wedding singer :-(

2010-05-20T23:43:00.001-07:00

“I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad, carry you around when your arthritis is bad. I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches; build you a fire if the furnace breaks. I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control. So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. All I wanna do is grow old with you.”

Answer to emptiness 17-May-10

2010-05-17T01:46:00.000-07:00

We spent our days merely by talking and listening...i saw the genuineness of his tears. his fearful eyes of what he has to face. i felt him...but i couldnt help him further. is this the junction of our lives? where we take different paths?
each time i say goodbye, i hope that it isnt the final goodbye..but i know that the final is getting closer as the words i type here...
i pray that we will both find an answer to our emptiness

Love is...

2010-03-08T00:27:00.001-08:00

When they live on in your memory
Watching him happily feed the baby at 2am
Helping her recover after an illness
Regretting the things you said and the things you didn’t say
Being able to love someone else more than yourself
Not minding if it is a girl or a boy
Never letting him leave your thoughts
Yelling at each other one minute and kissing each other the next
All your feelings in four letter words
Feeling lonely when your inbox is empty
What makes the mundane magical

Farewell my love

2010-03-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

1st mac 2010, 12.30pm

I went there..to where it all started. Where I thought my heart wld smile forever
Now its tearing.. it knows that this is the last time.
I rather be the bad person, and escape the pain for both of us. May u be happy…may I be happy too. Good bye
Love, Kutty

Woman of god

2010-03-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

8 mac 2010

3.30pm

My heart thuds faster as I scroll through those painful pictures depicting the horror and torture faced by women. How can any human portray such hatred and wickedness on their same breed. On the person who will or have born their own flesh and blood???

Has the human race forgotten humanity? Have they forgotten what is like to love and feel loved? What has these women done to face these punishments?

My eyes get blurry when I read of the reason as to why they were treated that way. They were either unable to bear a child…rejected a marriage proposal…raped…or simply because they were born into this world as a “woman”.

Being born in a matriarchal society, it hurts so much to see that there are still more women going through the cruelty of men in different corners of the world. It hurts even more when you are helpless and can only sit, watch or hear these women crying to you for help.

I hope every women who step in this world would be aware of the hardship undergone by these women…U may not be able to help physically. But your prayers for your sister or mothers will reach their heart and help their souls to be born in a better life.

I pray for your soul.

im but a fool

2010-02-28T17:39:00.000-08:00

I believed, i trusted...and im still trusting. despite my instincts telling me not too. i have had enough. enough of being taken around a merry-go-round. enough in believing all that is said. im going to believe in my self, in what i see, in what i fell...once a fool, never a fool!

The Secret..

2009-12-15T23:23:00.001-08:00

I am the masterpiece of my thoughts.
I am a magnet, attracting good health, wealth, people and happiness.
Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.
What you think and what you feel and what manifests is always a match.
“You create your own universe as you go along”- Winston Churchill
It is important to feel good. Because this feeling sends out a signal to the universe and this would attract good things.
I am the creator if my own reality.
“What this power is, I cannot say, all I know is that it exits”- Alexander Graham Bell
Step 1: ASK
Step 2: ANSWER
Step 3: RECEIVE

Out of nothing and no way, a ‘way’ will be made

Take the 1st step in faith..you don’t have to set the whole staircase, just take the 1st step- Martin Luther King.

‘All that we are is the result of what we have thought’- Buddha

Gratitude- say thank you for things you already have
(Story: gratitude rock)

Visualize- when u visualize then u materialize
(Story: Olympics runner thinks about running the marathon and winning, ever muscle functions as if its really happening)

I am in the process of….
High position in an expanding company. I get to travel, make new acquaintances, enhance my interpersonal skills, and sharpen my knowledge.
My own car which takes me to places safely and economically
Loving & supportive family who stands by me every second.
Friends I can always trust and rely on. Friends who I share fun experiences with. Im also able to do fun activities with them.
I attend classes regularly to enhance my talent of singing & playing the veena.
Healthy lifestyle that creates a positive outlook in my appearance, boosting the confidence in me when in public.
A partner who gets along with me and family well. A person who communicates well with me, has the same wave length, someone I can tell everything too, who has a sense of humour like me, who enjoys the beauty of what life has to offer him

Welcome 2010

2009-12-15T23:17:00.000-08:00

I am terrified by competition. I rather sit back and allow the other person to take the lime light without fighting. I rather am the average person instead of striving to be the best. However, I need motivation & pressure in order to work harder.

Year 2010, Im going to change all the below:
1. Follow a strict diet
2. Focus on work
3. Look for ways 2 better myself (Eg: education, course, knowledge)
4. Be more proactive.
5. Confident!

The next 2 year is to polish and groom myself to become a ‘near perfect’ woman!

I thought...

2009-11-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

U will be holding me in ur arms…
U will protect me from the scars and wounds
U will stand by me through thick or thin
U will be sharing the castles I build in my dreams..
I thought u will be the ONE till d end

Lands to visit and visited

2009-11-12T01:24:00.000-08:00

Visited
India (Kerala, Banglore)
Australia (Melbourne, Sydney, Perth)
Cambodia (Siem Reap)
Singapore
Thailand (Bangkok)
Indonesia (Jakarta, Lampung)

To visit
Amsterdam
Egypt
Italy
Seychels Island
Hawaii
London
New Zealand

Mother's prayers Dec'07

2009-11-12T00:59:00.000-08:00

I watched him sleep again today. Growing so fast along the years, leaving behind the tantrums and chaos he created during his younger days. I knew, deep inside my heart that this is going to be a stubborn little one. Though, I also knew that he would be able to choose the right things in life and never give up.
With a cute chubby face, he would look eagerly into the kitchen to answer his mouth's cravings. The satisfaction of watching him enjoy his favourite dishes cooked by me is beyond words. With a mischievous smile, he would nudge me for extra pocket money without the knowledge of others, especially his stern father. yet, he never failed to take charge when with the smaller ones. i enjoyed watching him commanding the rest, despite him being a baby himself. So much responsibility at a small age.He showed his determination in his studies, just to prove to his father and obtain his toy in return. A little tyrant he was, quarrels with friends and their boyish rough games, which at times worried me due to his health.
I have missed out on many things in all of them. But, i do not have to worry about the rest as i know the he would never ever let his little ones down.I wish i could turn back time and change things. I wish to be there and see them grow, share their dreams, happiness and sorrows. Yet, the least i could do now is to sit by him every night without fail, stroke his hair and watch him sleep like a baby. I remember seeing his face for the first time, with twinkling eyes he looked into mine..wrapping his little fingers around mine. Now, he is an adult, who will find someone to replace then love i failed to shower him.
The time has come for me to go once again, to return the next day and all the following days just to see your face which always portrays hope and success. It brings back all the sweet memories I has when i was by your side long time ago. Fate is unpredictable my dear. It has shattered your heart and brought only disappointment to you.I am sorry my child, for leaving you without saying goodbye. I know that the bond we have would make you feel my presence whenever you need courage and faith. I would never let go of you again. You have always made your mother proud and never fail to put a smile on my face wherever I am. Remember one thing...when ever you shed a tear out of happiness or sadness, I promise to be with you...doing the same. I love you my son............

Kaani nilam vendum..

2009-09-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

My dear Mother,
These I need from you.
Land, a vast expanse of it
Free and open like the mind you gave me.

In this land,
A home you shall build.
A home with pillars strong and pristine.

In this land,
a few coconut trees with cool leaves and sweet water
Placed at your will near the well.

In this land,
you shall give me the moon,
the distant bird and the gentle breeze
to touch my soul.

Thus when I lay,
a woman you shall give
a woman for my songs
of beauty, freedom and union.

In this land,
my Mother,
you shall stand protecting me.
Me and this soothing peace.

Give these my mother.
And then I shall in return
save this world of yours
with the magic of my songs.

I want to fly like a bird

2009-08-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

I want to fly like a bird. I want to enjoy the panaromic view from above. I want to admire the beautiful creations god.

I feel like washing my hands off everything. Im tired and exhausted thinking off what is to come, what is right, how wrong are things, meant to be or not to be...

I feel like leaving things to HIS hands. I cannot handle this burden any longer

I want to feel light again

I want to be free from worrying and thinking about it over and over a gain like a merry-go-round

Predictions

2009-08-20T23:54:00.001-07:00

Can our lifes be predicted by astrology? If yes, do we want to know those predictions? Or rather not know what is to come? If we do know what is to happen, then why go throught the whole process? What does it mean?Aren’t our souls going to leave this body someday..and erase all the memories we have in our lifes? When u start questioning more and more..u will come to realize that life is after all nothing. So, take everything with a pinch of salt. Face what you have to face. Make the best of what you have and what you get. After all, you soul is going to live this body one day…

to you i seek refuge

2009-08-17T01:48:00.000-07:00

I sit here humbly under the sacred tree, off loading my all my heart's burden to you.
I catch the whispers of the leaves, as the wind blows.
I am here confused and afraid of the steps i take.
In my heart i feel your presence, answering my prayers.
I know i have you to wipe my tears.
I know i have you to give me courage.

I know that only to you i seek refuge...'mother'

Omana tingazh kilavo

2009-08-02T23:08:00.001-07:00

Life has been a tremendous journey for me. Miss my homeland and its lushes greeneries always welcoming me like a mother’s embrace. The majestic thamburan’s elephants parading during the festive seasons decorated with gold, blinding the eye of on lookers.
The boat rides acha took me on the glittery back waters near our tharavadu. Sumptuous more kuutan made from fresh cows milk and coconut grated eeshery. I never could make the elshery as mouth watering as how amma prepared it. We (amma and I) will normally take an evening stroll to the yekshiamma kovil by the river down the walkway from our tharavadu for our evening prayers.

Acha was a respected head of the temple who dedicated his life as a slave to Lord Shiva. The temple was his second home. Being the eldest in the family and the apple-of-the-eye, he always wanted me to be someone who would help the needy and a saviour to the community. Thus, I was sent to another state to further my studies and to live acha’s dream. Never did I like this decision of his. How could I part from a place called home? I left with a bitter feeling. I remember Amma waving at me in teary eyes as I left my home for the first time to take an unknown path. Acha never showed any emotions, a person who stood tall and confident of his decisions. As he always say, ‘Never fear of what you may face life, as Lord Shiva will always keep an eye on his faithful children’. We were His children.

Years had passed at medical school. Gone are the smell of amma’s grated coconut on the kitchen stove, the clinging of temple bells at dawn kept fading little by little, sacred lamps lighting the temple grounds flickered smaller and smaller…All my senses could reach were strong mixtures of chemicals, patients crying, newborns and DEATH! Along the years, I begun to understand and appreciate the hospital because of my guru. The guru who opened eyes to medical successes, who made me feel semi-god for being able to save lives. He, who I hero-worshipped and promised to myself that I will be a successful life-saviour like him someday.

One day after the other, I became a part of the hospital and the hospital became a part of my world. Until one day, I received a telegram from home to return immediately. Without hesitating, I left for home with much confusion on the sudden request to return. Has something happened to Acha? Is Amma ok? Little did I know that, Acha and Amma had fixed my marriage with a young rich business man who lived at the neighboring region. The telegram was for me to attend my own wedding I was not notified off before hand. Home was never like how I left it. There were unfamiliar people rushing in and out of tharavadu carrying sacks of ‘arri’, ‘chakkas’ and ‘tengas’. Another bunch of people seated on a small temporary shed by the side, arguing on the best dishes to prepare for the event. The happiness on Acha’s and Amma’s faces oozing out when entertaining relatives and friends from far off lands. To add on to my misery, I was told to leave the hospital and to work at a small clinic near my new-found husband’s home.

My stomach churned with the sight of the commotion going on. I could hardly utter a word as my throat was chocked with this sudden preparation. My heart thumped harder as the day got closer. The only image that came into my mind was my guru….how I yearned to see his comforting face during this hard time……. (to be continued)

Many years have passed since his death and since I found a new companion, my books and my writings. I believe that those who stepped in my lifes and the turmoils of events that took place had a reason.

With Lord Shiva in my heart, showing me the path to peacefulness and serenity, I walk slowly back…..to my mother’s embrace...

What shall i get him?

2009-07-17T00:36:00.000-07:00

1. Liverpool tickets
2. Toyota caldina
3. Gym- lots and lots of protein and muscles
4. Ray Ban aviator shades
5. Funky coloured shirt + tie
6. Wallet

what if..

2009-05-21T02:17:00.001-07:00

A sudden thought crossed my mind as i was driving home last nite....what if, it ends just like wht is written? my eyes felt misty...heart thumping hard...i would not be able to take it.
aftr all that we have been through, the effort we have put in,the comfort we have..all just to throw it down drains? i wish i did not hear or know these facts (if it was true facts). although, i know that it may not be 100% true, there maybe some truth behind it.
Hindu astrology is not a merely a joke. it has been founded centuries ago, prophecies written by 'rishis' (people who are 1step closer to god). which have turned out to be true in many ways and also false, depending on how you interprete it.
To me, its a guide to help us avoid unwanted incidents, a guide to help us avoid unwanted outcomes or to prepare us for the best or the worst. At the end, what is supposed to happen will happen...and one has to face and accept the conscequences of life...fate has its own way of making things fall in its place.
but of course, I am praying for the best for the both of us...happiness together!

Emptiness

2009-05-18T02:34:00.000-07:00

At times i fell empty..despite having everything i have. It may be because the only person who completes my day is him. and not being able to be with him all the time, leaves me by myself. My life has become so routine that there is nothing unpredictabel, accept of course the future which i fear off.

21 steps to success

2009-04-07T23:28:00.001-07:00

1. Sincerity.
Be sincere in your actions. Don’t try to deceive or impress others. Be yourself, and do what you feel is right based on your values and beliefs. You will be surprised at how people accept you when you stop trying to be someone you aren’t.

2. Unfeigned.
Be genuine in what you do; your actions speak louder than your words. Don’t falsify or embellish events that may have happened. Don’t say one thing and do the other.

3. Wholehearted.
Be enthusiastic about what you do. Show it. Be committed to life and everything that you set out to accomplish in life. Devote yourself to your family, friends, and community and commit yourself to being the best father, husband, wife, mother, friend, and neighbor you can be.

4. Honest.
Be honest in your dealings with yourself and with others. When others interact with you, let them see someone who is reputable, respectable and genuine. Do what you say you will do and never use fraud or deception to get ahead in life. Let ethics, morals, and honor be your compass.

5. Heartfelt.
When you do something for someone, or they do something for you, let your thanks and emotion be openly and outwardly expressed towards them.

6. Hearty.
Be someone who displays an honest, warm, and exuberant personality to those around them. Let your feelings show and let them be genuine when they do.

7. Humility.
Don’t lead a life thinking you are better than others or are superior to those around you. Modesty and humbleness will leave a far more ever lasting impact on people than trying to show off.

8. Personal integrity.
Always follow your heartfelt values, and never let a situation or anyone steer you away from doing what you know is right. Be someone that people can look up to and respect and not someone who trades his or her moral values for material gains in life.

9. Incorruptibility.
Let it be known that you stand firm for what you believe in and that your morals, values and actions are not for sale. Don’t let outside forces corrupt the person you are.

10. Sound.
Show good judgment and sense in life. Don’t let prejudices or emotions cloud your judgment.

11. Whole.
Be focused on what you want to achieve in life. Give everyone you interact with your complete and undivided attention.

12. Courtesy.
Practice good manners even though others around you may not.

13. Civility.
Graciousness and respect go a long way in life. What is more, they are viral – when people see you doing it they are more apt to practice civility themselves. Be kind to others and extend courtesy towards them. Don’t interrupt people when they speak and don’t dominate the conversation.

14. Wisdom.
Gain from the wisdom that is inside you. Understand the inner qualities of people and learn how to understand situations that might be different than we are used to.

15. Charity.
Practice kind, gentle, and compassionate treatment of others – especially those who may be undeserving. Learn to extend a hand to help others, even though they themselves may not have helped you.

16. Empathy.
Be aware that each person is different and may have different values and beliefs than those that you hold. Be understanding of the feelings and thoughts of others without having to be told or reminded of them.

17. Sympathy.
Share your feelings with others and understand the emotional situations that people go through. Put yourself in their shoes.

18. Compassion.
When someone is in distress, reach out with a genuine interest in helping alleviate their suffering.

19. Altruism.
Think of others without thinking of yourself. Do good things for people without expecting something in return for yourself.

20. Magnanimous.
Be generous in life. Give of your time, money and wisdom. Share with others so they can see the true joy and adventures of life themselves.

21. Humourous (my addition)
Always see the funny side of everything in any situations!

What i want...and will achieve!

2009-04-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

To visit foreign lands
To meet different kind of people
To learn new things
To enhance my knowledge
To be able to do whatever I want
To have confidence in myself
To make my parents proud of the decisions I make
To count each day as a blessing
To be honest with my feelings
To always look at the funny side of any situations
To have a partner who shares the same views as me
To build a loving family
To be a successful daughter, wife and mother

traffic light

2009-02-22T07:36:00.000-08:00

To stop, get ready or to go?

To be or not to be?

being at a junction without directions..unable to decide what is best for the future.
especially when emotions are involved, it makes the process of deciding even harder.
but to be fair is best...and not to hurt one's heart longer...

:-(

you will always have a soft spot in my heart

italian love phrases

2008-12-23T00:06:00.000-08:00

Sei sempre nel mio cuore
You are always there in my heart

Voglio stare con te per sempre
I want to stay with you forever.

Ti amo con tutta l'anima
I love you with all my heart

Tu sei la mia vita, la mia anima
You are my life, my soul!

French love phrases

2008-12-22T23:49:00.000-08:00

French: Je t'aime de tout mon cœur.
English: I love you with all my heart.

French: Que mes baisers soient les mots d'amour que je ne te dis pas.
English: Let my kisses be the words of love that I don't say.

French: Mon amour pour toi est si grand que le monde.
English: My love for you is as grand as the world.

French: Tu es dans toutes mes pensées.
English: You are in all my thoughts.

French: Tu es ma joie de vivre.
English: You are the joy of my life.

French: Tu es mon mon amour.
English: You are my love.

Dreams may die

2008-12-22T23:33:00.000-08:00

"We live in dreams but dreams may die, do not get shattered and never cry. The world is big and has lots to give, pick a new dream and start again."

Ive learnt the hard way that nothing is promising in this world, nothing is yours, nothing is for sure...everything remains a question mark, no matter how much you have put your mind and soul to it. Appalling, but true.

Do i go back to when i was able to accept a downfall? The dreadful part is that i cant go back to that stage anymore. As my mind and soul has already been devoted to something my life has been focussed on all this while. Something which gave me happiness and bliss that i have not felt before..Something i fear to loose. Stop dreaming about things you want...i have begun to believe that dreams will never become reality, as dreams are just fantasies in one's thoughts.

"Dont't expect anything from life, expectations hurt. When you don't expect, every moment, everything is a surprise and every surprise brings happiness."

Stop dreaming...dreams may die one day or the other.. :-(

Faith & Hope

2008-12-22T23:12:00.000-08:00

Nobody likes to be sad. But sometimes in life, you feel a tremendous gush of sadness squeezing through your heart leaving a deep open scar. No matter how ohard u breath, there seems to be no air left in the room..no matter how hard you try to laugh, there seems to be a constant heavy burden on your chest..It is never ending..

“The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain.” - Karl Marx
“Two barrels of tears do not heal a bruise.” - By Chinese Proverb

A wound on the bare skin leaves only a tinge of antidote to the scarred heart.
Barrels of tears leaves behind nothong more than a pair of swollen eyes.
When a person is hurt, the hope and faith automatically fades away gradually..And when that faith and hope is lost...there is no dream left.
Leaving the guilty alone...lifeless...souless...

Reality strikes

2008-11-25T22:30:00.001-08:00

On the 26th Nov, i felt what i havent felt for a long time and which i thought ill never feel again in my life.
The feeling of when you are being checked on, your 'ignorence' being tested, violation of your privacy and the breaching of trust. The main downfall of a relationship.
When you love is genuine and sincere..is it fair to go through this?

The ugly patch on the beautiful painting

2008-11-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

Why do people look for the small ugly patches of the beautiful painting, instead of appreciating the beauty it portrays?
Only when the heart doubts what it believes, you see the ugly side. Especially in a relationship, you have many doubts and instead of questioning the party involved, you tend to test that person in your own way. The results are never going to be acceptable to the heart. Unless you have a stable mindset to accept it. When in this situation, the most reasonable thing to do is to NOT test your acceptance level as this will risk the relationship you have. Yet, people still tend to do so. In the name of testing the opposite party's sincerity or some say 'ignorence'. At the end, this would lead to causing ill filling in hearts of both parties.
To me, its a mere testing of the trust between the two. When 'trust' exist solidly, there will be no room for this to arise at any point of time. Why allow trivial matters to disrupt your relationship when there are lots more to come in life?
Staying positive always helps. You get to enjoy the beauty of the painting which is the relationhip...appreciate the happiness it provides..and overcome any feeling of negativity...At least, that is how i chose to see it.

Happy me :-)

2008-11-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

The feeling is true...complete...sure...belonged...
No matter where u go...ill be by urside my love!

Thank you

2008-10-10T01:28:00.001-07:00

Thank you for guiding me through my life..
Thank you for the wonderful, supportive family im blessed with..
Thank you for the caring friends and lovely collegues you have gifted me with..
Thank you for the loving partner you have sent me..one who completes me and loves me uncoditionally.
Thank you for all the people who stand by me during thick or thin, who puts a smile on my everyday life, who laughs with me.
Thank you for the job i have, where i get to travel to new places and meet new people..where i can use my skills and talents...a job a look forward to and enjoy doing everyday..
Thank you for making me a money magnet...receiving money, gifts, present and prizes..from known and unknown sources..
Thank you for the person i am now, one who enjoys every bit life has to offer, who is able to accept reality, adapt to any situations, one who is rational, caring, confident, successful and happy at all times..
Thank you for everything my dear UNIVERSE!

I want to

2008-10-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

I want to see your sleepy eyes the moment i open mine :-(

So close yet so far

2008-10-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

Why did you show me the colours of the rainbow..
Why did you make me feel the warmth of the sun..
Why did you make me open my heart..
Why are you making me miss your soul..

Why did you show me what love is....to leave once ive filled my heart with it?
Why?

Men are like..

2008-09-18T18:21:00.001-07:00

Men are like….
1. Laxatives .….. They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Bananas …… The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Weather....Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Blenders You need One, but you’re not quite sure why.
5. Chocolate Bars ….Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Commercials ……. You can’t believe a word they say.
7. Department Stores ….. Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Government Bonds …. They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Mascara....They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Popcorn …. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Snowstorms ….You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long it will last.
12. Lava Lamps…. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Life goes on

2008-09-18T18:21:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in your life when you realize
who matters,
who never did,
who won't anymore... and who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

peace

2008-09-17T23:11:00.002-07:00

American artist, Thomas Kinkade eloquently said, “When we learn to say a deep, passionate yes to the things that really matter… then peace begins to settle onto our lives like golden sunlight sifting to a forest floor.”

who is to judge?

2008-09-17T23:11:00.001-07:00

Being judged is the most horrible feeling one can ever have, especially when judged by someone close to your heart. From the begining, he judged me but supposedly 'accepting' me despite certain 'unimpressive' issues. Plus, not feeling sorry for being judgemental adds on salt to the wound.
Everyone does commit a mistake at least once in their lives. But how you rectify and overcome that mistake is the teacher of your life. Every experience is a lesson learnt. I have learnt a few, and im still learning. Each one of it contributing to better myself.
The only person who has the right to judge your doings is non-other than yourself. One will never know their true self...your life is a learning process..about you yourself.

So...who are you to judge?

Smile

2008-09-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

I was thinking over and figuring out what exactly was spoken the previous night. I am not hurt but im definitely tired of the whole ordeal. A friend e-mailed me on life's quote..one reflected on my state...

'Do not cry that it did not happen...but smile because it happened'

God?

2008-09-15T01:51:00.000-07:00

Is there a god?
God to me, is a source of positive energy. The more faith you have, the stronger the energy. So, God is basically faith. Being a Hindhu, we are forced to pray to the many forms of Hindhu gods and goddesses. Having a form to focus on, helps create stronger faith. The different forms depict different forms of energy. Religions are different ways of reaching that energy.
We see, what we want to see..we hear, what we want to hear. Our mind chooses and believes what we think God is. God is within us...God is the way of life we choose to be in...

Chapters in life

2008-09-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Im true..real..and raw..revealing every single chapter page by page. It may cause more heartache to the reader, but it has to be read sooner or later. the sooner, the better.
Those chapters were not something for me to proud off.
'Each time u fall, pick yourself up and move on. Life's experience is the best lesson'. I did that, and here I am. I do not expect but accept whatever life has in store for me. I dont want to cry over the past or worry about the future, but live at this present moment and enjoy every moment of it.
I find joy in singing, dancing and playing my baby instrument...i want to pursue my happiness in those things that make me smile, that make me contented with life.
I have opened a new chapter now...a chapter of love and bliss...

euphoria 11sept

2008-09-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

I have actually expressed my slightest irritation to someone close. Something i dont remember doing in my life!My eyes are watery...i actually have someone to share my smallest feeling with and not be judged. All the while, i have been so afraid that what i say may hurt another person.. or make the person dislike me. And for once, i could actually open up to the person close 2my heart. I can sound silly or stupid...but i have someone to share it with :-) im in state of euphoria.

Contentment June'08

2008-09-10T22:24:00.000-07:00

Looking far ahead, deep in thoughts..The events that took place in my life ran in my head like episodes of tv serials. From the start where each decision was a risky step of curiosity, from where everything was new, fresh and exciting. It was like hiking up a steep mountain, experiencing the panoramic view of what lay ahead, yet tumbling down a little when a wrong step was taken. Unfortunately, the tumble was harder even before the peak was reached. It hit really hard till even to move up an inch required a whole lot of energy and effort. With only myself to turn too, i pushed myself up inch by inch. Somehow, the love i received from those around helped build the strength in me to overcome the major downfall.
After all the unexpected turns of life's events, i sit here on a windy night..staring across the peaceful lake. The fountain playing simple rythms, soothing the ears and soul. Thin chilly breeze squezzing through the little space between us. Sharing all he could of his life. My head seeked refuge on his shoulders...i promise myself never to face any burdens or heart aches..im smilling now, not my lips but my heart...all because im with you...

life is a roller coaster

2008-09-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

its been sometime since i last wrote. I feel like a new person when i read through my previous writings. glad im not that same operson anymore though. well, life has changed a lot ever since. Read something a fellow blogger wrote about how its time to bring out the 'bitch' in us!
all my life, ive been pushed around by my mum and my sister of conflicting interest. being the youngest, i was caught between both worlds...varying according to situations. this apparently did not do me any good. I chose to get out of both, and find my own world which at times i feel lost. Am i really whom i really am? the good part is, ive begun to know the answer to that question little by little.
All though, i do miss the closeness i had with those two people who have been guiding me. but its time i took charge of my own life...and bring the BITCH outta me!